Leave your kids to their own devices, and who knows what they’ll get into! It’s two weeks into summer break, and for the most part, I have allowed my teen and her 11-year-old sister to relax and do as they please, and what do they do? They go and get them some religion.
Can you believe it? I turn my back for one second and my daughters run to the nearest church.
They’ve been attending weekly Bible Studies and have insisted that I drive them to Sunday services. My tween has even been carrying around in her purse a bible that her friend gave her. Today she came into my room and proudly announced that she has memorized five of the 10 commandments. Then she proceeded to quiz me on how many I knew. (I rattled off eight, and then drew a blank.)
To understand how really odd – and amazing – this turn of events is, you need to know that we are not very religious people. Spiritual, yes. But not religious. We never say grace, we don’t attend church on Christmas day and on Sundays, we worship at the House of Pancakes.
I don’t know how they have come into the light, or how long this new discovery will hold their interest, but I am really happy they are there. Maybe someday I will join them.
Meanwhile, the bizarre behavior continues. Last week, my teen announced she was a vegetarian and both my daughters begged me NOT to buy ice cream anymore.
The English say "holiday." We Yanks say "vacation." Either way, we're not here right now. But if you leave your name and message, we will be sure to get back to you.
My teenager started summer vacation this week. I remember the pressure I used to feel when she was in grade school, trying to come up with creative and affordable diversions for her in the summertime. I managed to string together enough cheap day camps, trips to the library for storytime, beach outings and weekly visits to Chuck E. Cheese to help entertain her through the long summer months.
I always thought the pressure of trying to keep your children busy during the summer would fizzle out as they got older. But I think it only gets worse.
When they’re teenagers, it’s a pressure of another kind entirely: You worry that if you don’t have enough activities lined up for them, then they’ll get into trouble on their own.
We’re three days into her vacation, and already she’s spent time with two friends, here at our house. They’ve gone to the gym, hung out by the pool, played a little tennis, watched “Twilight” for the gazillionth time. I like that they’re here and I can keep an eye on them. But I’m sure this venue will grow old real soon.
My Gidget will probably be spending a lot of time at the beach during the day, which is fine, and so typical of being a teenager here in Surf City. But it’s the bonfires at night that I’m concerned about. She’s already been to one where teens were passing around mixed drinks in plastic cups.
We had a nice, long talk about THAT!
Does anyone out there have any good ideas on what to do with teenagers during the summer? Maybe some things that don’t involve too many boys!
It’s official: My teenager can now kick my butt. (And it seems like just yesterday that I was swatting and swaddling hers.)
On Saturday, my 15 1/2-year-old daughter earned her Black Belt in Taekwondo. What a relief! I will no longer have to worry about her dating or meeting up with the wrong kind of guys. This girl is now fully capable of protecting herself. Believe me, I saw her free-sparring and I feel sorry for anyone who gets in her way!
After the Black-Belt ceremony, I asked her how she felt about this tremendous accomplishment. “I feel empowered,” she replied. Feeling empowered is a marvelous way for any young woman to start her life’s journey, don’t you think? The way that I see it, she is way ahead of the game. It takes some women all their lives to feel that kind of inner strength. And she already does at 15.
I am over-the-top proud of her!
This ceremony marked a real turning point for my teen, the ninja. She had been taking Taekwondo for more than two years, earning a rainbow of belts along the way, always with her eye on the top prize: Her first-degree Black Belt. About midway through her journey to black, somewhere around the Purple-Belt stage, she wanted to quit. She had lost her motivation and said it just wasn’t fun anymore.
I did the mom thing, and talked her into persevering and seeing this pursuit through to the end. I told her that when they tie that black belt around her, she is going to be so incredibly proud of herself. She will have climbed a mountain and will be standing in a spot that not too many people can stand in.
Besides, I told her, it will look great on the college application.
As mothers, we teach our children so much. But there’s bound to be gaps in their education since we’re still learning valuable life lessons ourselves. Disciplined sports, such as Taekwondo, can help fill in those spaces that we aren’t always able to reach, as well as reinforce the lessons we’ve already taught them.
To be honest, I encouraged my teenager to pursue Taekwondo so that she would be able to defend herself someday if she ever had to. Something I believe all women should be able to do. But in the process, she became a disciplined, confident, strong and respectful young woman.
Again . . . I am SO proud of her!
The Black Belt Creed:
As a dedicated student of Taekwondo, I shall live by the principles of the Black Belt Creed:
On Saturday, I strolled through Balboa Island in Newport Beach with a good friend. Another single mother with a teenager. It's a darling little beach town dotted with million-dollar cottages and alluring boutiques.
We walked into a store called Heart of the Island, a gallery featuring the works of Southern California artists. Decorative ceramics, paintings, whimsical gifts, that kind of thing. My friend and I were discussing teenagers, our favorite and sometimes not-so-favorite topic, and right on cue, I walk by this framed poem titled, "Teen Creed." While I had promised myself that I wouldn't be buying anything that day, this item fell under that "It's Fate and you just have to get it" category.
Besides, I didn't buy it for ME, I bought it for my teenager, the alien. It's full of wisdom to help teens through those difficult teen years. (I am hoping that the quip about driving resonates the most with my daughter.) The shopkeeper told me that Oprah read this on her show not too long ago. I've pasted it below.
But what really sold me on this poem was the signature at the end. It was signed, "Lynn," as if I had written it myself. (The real writer's name is Lynn Kessinger.)
No matter how hard you try to resist the call of the wild, spontaneous purchase, some things were just meant to be yours.
Teen Creed
Don’t let your parents down, They brought you up.
Be humble enough to obey, You may give orders someday.
Choose companions with care, You become what they are.
Guard your thoughts, What you think, you are.
Choose only a date Who would make a good mate.
Be master of your habits, Or they will master you.
Don’t be a showoff when you drive, Drive with safety and arrive.
Don’t let the crowd pressure you, Stand for something . . . Or you’ll fall for anything.
One of our primary responsibilities as parents is setting a good example for our children – especially when our teens are riding with us in the car. I have failed miserably on that count, I’m afraid. Case in point:
Last week, I was driving my teen and two of her friends to the beach. While they were taking goofy pictures of each other in their sunglasses and bathing suits in the back seat, my cell phone rang. I put it up to my ear to answer it just as a Highway Patrol officer pulled up alongside me.
CRAP!
Now, I’m one of those mavericks who refuses to buy a hands-free device simply because the law says you have to. I’ve read one too many reports about the possible link between cell phones and brain cancer, so I try to keep the radiation away from the vicinity of my head by using my speakerphone.
OK, that and because I’m too cheap and lazy to buy a Bluetooth.
Anyway, up until that moment, civil disobedience had worked well for me. But I knew I was toast, and I had to at least TRY to get out of the ticket. So here’s what three teenagers learned from me – good or bad, you decide -- about how to weasel out of a traffic ticket:
1. Play Dumb (very effective when you really are blonde): I pretended I didn’t know why he pulled me over. I had just bought my car, so as he walked up to my window, I said: “I know . . . I don’t have my plates yet. I just bought this car three weeks ago, so the plates are coming.”
Did it work? Hardly. “You were on your cell phone without a hands-free device, Ma’am,” said Mr. No-Nonsense. DAMN! And what’s this “Ma’am” stuff??
2. Act surprised and admit fault, but rationalize it: “Oh, of course! Yeah, I was just answering it. But I put it on speakerphone right away!”
“The law requires you to have a hands-free device, Ma’am.” He wasn’t budging. And there’s that “Ma'am” reference again!
3. Remain calm and try to sound intelligent (the dumb-blonde thing wasn’t working): “To be honest, Officer, I am afraid to use a Bluetooth. I’ve read a lot of reports about how the radiation from cell phones and cellular devices has been linked to brain cancer and could cause the rapid growth of cancerous cells.”
What’s that?? . . . he nodded! I think I had him. “I understand, Ma’am, but there are ways around that. You can buy the plug that goes from your ear to the cell phone.”
4. Play dumb again, but be gracious: “Really? I never heard of those. I’ll have to get one. Thanks for the tip, Officer.”
Uh-Oh! He started to pull out his ticket pad. Flattery was getting me nowhere. Quick! Think of something!
5. Beg, plead, cry and lose all sense of dignity: “Officer, please, please, PLEASE don’t give me a ticket!! I just finished traffic school a few weeks ago and I can’t afford another ticket or a ding on my record. I’m a single mom, trying to take care of two daughters, and I just can’t afford this ticket or higher insurance rates. PLEASE!
He started to soften. OMG . . . he was human, after all! He glanced at the teens in the back seat of the car and said, “OK, Ma’am. Please drive safely.” Off he went, and this time I didn’t care that he called me “Ma’am.”
While I’d like to take full credit for engaging my irresistible feminine wiles to get out of this traffic ticket, I also think it helped GREATLY that I had three teenaged girls dressed for the beach, wide-eyed and smelling like coconut oil, in the back seat of my car.
I’ve been writing this blog for six months and not once have I really talked about teens and drugs. Since I mostly write from my own experiences with my teenager, that means we don’t have any drug issues over at our house. And that’s a GREAT thing. I feel blessed.
In other households, however, it’s a different story. According to the Office of National Drug Control Policy, there is a growing number of teenagers who are abusing prescription and over-the-counter (OTC) drugs to get high or to cope with school and social pressures.
The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration reports that every day, 2,000 kids, ages 12 to 17, abuse a painkiller for the very first time. And that among 12- and 13-year-olds, prescription drugs are the drug of choice.
Who would have guessed??
I’m sure you have all sorts of questions about this disturbing trend among teens. To provide some answers, TheAntiDrug.com has teamed up with pharmacist Karen Reed, spokesperson for the American Pharmacists Association, in this Q & A:
Q: Kids are taking uppers, downers, painkillers, etc., that have been prescribed for their parents. What can those drugs do to teens who have not been prescribed those medications?
A: It’s always difficult to predict what type of reaction teens will have to medication not prescribed for them, especially when we don't know the dose they will abuse -- and if it will be taken with other drugs or alcohol. Uppers can cause hostility, paranoia or seizures. These drugs can affect motor skills, impair judgment, and affect the heart. Downers and painkillers can decrease concentration, impair judgment, and slow motor skills. Taking downers and painkillers in excess can also cause sedation and seizures. Imagine a teen driver under the influence of these drugs driving a motor vehicle -- this combination could prove deadly, as well.
Q: Kids take pills that aren’t theirs and sometimes when they’re drinking alcohol. What is the resulting effect?
A: No one, adults or teens, should take medication with alcohol. Teens who are taking medication that is not prescribed for them are probably also taking excessive doses. And mixing that medication with alcohol could prove deadly for teenagers. The effect of the medication could be intensified, causing the teen to stop breathing or have a seizure that could be fatal. If this practice is combined with driving, others could be injured, as well. The combination of medication and alcohol could lead to poor judgment that could cause serious injuries or worse. Teenagers often feel invincible. The combination of drugs and alcohol may intensify this belief.
A: Keep them in limited quantities and monitor their use as you would a prescription drug. Never use them to help your teen or yourself sleep. Children (regardless of their age) mimic adult behavior. Be a good role model and never abuse OTC products yourself.
Q: What if a teenager has prescribed medications she takes regularly. How do you ensure those pills are not abused?
A: Keep track of the number of pills that should be on hand. Keep track of refills, lost pills, and request for refills. Paying close attention to use will help prevent abuse.
Q: What are some of the signs to look for if you suspect your teen has been abusing prescription drugs?
A: It’s easy for parents to miss prescription drug abuse because mood changes, temper outbursts, changes in sleeping habits and interests are typical teenage behaviors. You can smell alcohol and tobacco and marijuana -- you can’t smell pills.
Watch for changes in grooming, habits and interests. Watch for negative changes in school work, school attendance, and declining grades. Watch for increased secrecy, changes in friends and increased needs for money. Monitor your own prescription drugs and encourage friends and family to do the same.
Karen L. Reed is the national spokesperson for the American Pharmacists Association.
Leave your kids to their own devices, and who knows what they’ll get into! It’s two weeks into summer break, and for the most part, I have allowed my teen and her 11-year-old sister to relax and do as they please, and what do they do? They go and get them some religion.![Reblog this post [with Zemanta]](http://img.zemanta.com/reblog_e.png?x-id=a2e7f325-d1d4-44fd-8556-7ac3044c0755)
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One of our primary responsibilities as parents is setting a good example for our children – especially when our teens are riding with us in the car. I have failed miserably on that count, I’m afraid. Case in point:![Reblog this post [with Zemanta]](http://img.zemanta.com/reblog_e.png?x-id=9dcbfb63-f8e2-4418-b0d6-9f6ee859e68b)
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