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On the Disney Cruise last year, my teen met a boy named Chris from Wisconsin. Though they met just two days before the cruise ended, they hit it off immediately and have been chatting on the phone, texting and IMing ever since, and as a result, a strong friendship has blossomed. She once even told me that Chris was her best friend. How sweet, but how sad, too, I thought. She finally meets a really nice boy and he lives clear across the country.
A month ago, my teen told me she wanted to go to her school’s Valentine’s Dance. It’s a tradition for the girls to ask the guys, and she didn’t know who to ask. I suggested she ask Chris, knowing deep-down that it really wasn’t geographically viable, but I thought it would at least make her feel better that she had someone to ask. Well, to my great surprise, Chris said yes, that his parents would let him fly out here from Wisconsin to go to the Valentine’s dance with her! Then she asked me if it would be OK if he stayed with us because he doesn’t know anyone in Southern California.
Uh-oh. I hadn’t planned on this outcome. Should I let a boy, who my 15-year-old really, really likes, stay with us for two whole nights and three days, though I don’t know him at all myself? The protective, Emily Post side of me said, “No. This doesn’t look proper.” But the historian in me, the one who looks back on my own teen years and wishes I had more unforgettable moments to recall, as this one surely will be for my daughter someday, said, “Sure, why not?”
“Mom, you rock!” My teen likes me. She really likes me.
So Chris comes out tomorrow, Friday the 13th. (I am so excited for them!) And while the two decided not to go to the dance after all, we plan to give the Midwesterner a short, but grand, tour of Southern California.
While we're busy making memories, I’ll keep you posted. Emily Posted.
Oh, and the sleeping arrangements? Chris will be slumbering in my teen’s bed, and she’ll be sleeping with me.
And I’m a very light sleeper ;).
(I'm curious: What would you have done in my situation?)
4 comments:
My niece is 18 and she's just now getting a boyfriend. When he slept over one night, she told me that they both slept on the floor out in the family room...and her father laid right down there beside them! LOL. The guy's a real sweetheart, though.
That seemed a bit extreme to me, so I would've done what you did.
GeminiWisdom,
Thanks for sharing that funny story! Fathers can be very protective, and I completely understand why your niece's dad did what he did. Hopefully, the boyfriend didn't roll over in the middle of the night and start spooning the dad.
That's an interesting dilemma. Wonder what the boy's parent's were thinking to let a 15-yr-old boy fly to a family they hardly know. You could've been serial murderers for all they know....
Maybe you could've had the boy stay at a neighboring friend's house who has boys. Even though your daughter and him won't "do" anything, I think the imagination, and the intimacy of sleeping in her bed, using the same bathroom, and seeing each other first thing in the morning implies more in the relationship than what it is.
Katy,
It certainly was a leap of faith for Chris' parents to let him come all the way out here to stay with people they don't even know. But we're good people, and I think his mom sensed that from the phone calls and e-mails we exchanged. As she said, this was his "big adventure," a coming-of-age trip, if you will. By putting Chris on a plane by himself and entrusting him with all that responsibility, his parents gave him wings, made him feel like a grownup, which he will be soon enough. I think it was a good call, on their part.
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