Bending The Rules

My teenager went to a winter formal Friday night with a 15-year-old boy she met a few months back at a dance. They’ve met up a few times since then, always in a group situation. And they text-message, e-mail, IM and post on each other’s Facebook and MySpace pages. Back in my day (GAWD, I sound like an old crone!), I would wait for (and agonize over) one phone call. Now, as Drew Barrymore says in the movie “He’s Just Not That Into You,” there are SO many ways to be rejected!

I had always told my teenager that she wouldn’t be able to date until she was 16. It’s the law in my household! But I allowed her to go to this formal because, well, it really wasn’t a date, per se. More like a bending of my rule. Yes, he picked her up (with his mom at the wheel); yes, flowers were exchanged and they wrapped their arms around each other for pictures (and her date looked very nervous doing so. It was cute.) But it was more of a group date, really.

About 20 of her date’s best friends rented a party bus and they gathered for a potluck dinner at someone’s house. Then they all went to Knott’s Berry Farm together -- the guys in suits and ties, the girls in short prom dresses and heels – in 50-degree weather, mind you! Forget my worries over teenage pregnancy. My overriding concern was hypothermia.

I picked up my little Cinderella at midnight. All the other kids rode around in the party bus for two hours, but I drew the line there. A 15-year-old girl, in my opinion, shouldn’t be riding around in a party bus until 2:00 in the morning, especially one that has a stripper pole smack-dab in the middle of the aisle on which, I hear, a number of girls and guys were dancing seductively. (What the hell is wrong with these kids??)

On the way home, my teenager told me that Bob (not his real name) “asked her out.” I reiterated my Golden Rule: “Honey, you know you’re not allowed to date until you’re 16.” The generation gap widened once again. “No, mom. ‘Asking out’ means that he asked me to be his girlfriend.” Whoops, my bad! (Translation: Oh, dear God!)

What a fine mess I’ve gotten myself into! Let me summarize: I let my teenager, who isn’t allowed to date until she is 16, go on a group date with a boy who asked her to be his girlfriend that night. I'm sure they’re going to want to see each other all the time, group situation or not. So technically, she’s now dating, right?

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