The Candy Witch

Now that Halloween is over, the question remains: What on earth are you going to do with all the candy that your kids brought home? There's no way I'm going to let my daughters eat all that crap! Mostly, though, I have no willpower when it comes to Snickers and if I don't get them out of my sight soon, I will soon be getting a few snickers of my own.

I wanted to tell you about this neat little trick I learned when the girls were younger. Have you heard of the Candy Witch? Yep, she's one of those magical creatures like the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny who no one ever sees, but who leaves happy kids in her wake.

So, when my daughters were younger, they would come home on Halloween night and fish out a few of their favorite pieces of candy, and we would put what was left in their bulging pillowcases on our front porch. Then we'd go to bed. Overnight, the Candy Witch (translation: ME!) would visit our house, take the bag of candy off the porch and leave toys for the girls, instead. It was the PERFECT scam! The kids got new toys and completely forgot about all that candy it cost them. (And I donated their candy to a local shelter, so it was a win-win for everyone.)

One year, I forgot to play the Candy Witch. My now-teen came to me extremely distraught the day after Halloween, upset that we had missed the big exchange. I didn't have any new toys for her and no time to go buy any, either. What else could I do but fess up? I told her there was no such thing as the "Candy Witch."

The minute I said that, I wanted to take it back. She looked like someone had just killed her puppy. She stood speechless for a moment, then I saw this lightbulb turn on in her smart little head and she said, "So, are ANY of those people real??" Meaning, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus.

I gathered my courage and told her "No." And the leprechauns we built traps for in Kindergarten? No such thing, either.

And that's how my oldest little girl lost her innocence.

Related articles by Zemanta

• Sweet things to do with all that Halloween candy (seattletimes.nwsource.com)


• Avoiding the Big Binge for Halloween! (susanheim.blogspot.com)

Ho-Ho-Hold Everything!

Image by Getty Images via Daylife
What the heck is wrong with teenaged girls? Somewhere along the way, they seem to have picked up the message that their primary purpose in life is to look as SEXY as possible. My daughter (who goes to a Catholic school, mind you) is going to a Christmas dance tomorrow at her school. She and a few friends have decided that they are going to dress up as "Santa's little helpers." How cute, I thought. I pictured green tights, curly-toed slippers, a cone-shaped hat -- like what Will Ferrell wore in the movie "Elf."

Um, think again, naive Mom! These girls are actually planning on wearing the sexy Santa costume from Victoria's Secret. (I tried to post a picture of it, but I am woefully lacking in computer skills. Try this link I provided if you want to see what it really looks like.)
http://www.amazon.com/Victorias-Secret-Santa-Costume-Adult/dp/B000YBIT5S

Technically, you can't really call that scrap of clothing between the belly button and the upper thigh a skirt. It's about as wide as a big belt -- Santa's belt. Needless to say, my daughter will NOT be dressing like a two-bit whore for the dance tomorrow night. We compromised. She will be wearing green shorts, white tights and a red tank top. I'm even going to throw in my Santa hat for good measure.

In fact, she'll look more like a real elf than her ho-ho-horribly tacky friends, who will probably spend most of the night doing Santa lap dances and hearing about some very private things the aroused boys at their school want for Christmas.

My question to you is: Would you let your teenage daughter dress like this for a school Christmas dance? You don't really need to respond. I already know the answer!